In the memory of my friend, Anusha

It was almost 8 in the evening when I received a call from my friend- Benoy- my classmate of St.marys' HSS during my plus two course.. I never expected a call.. So I was so happy to hear his voice after many months.. But The thing is,he called 2 tell a sad news..

"U remember Anusha" ,he asked me ,"She passed away"..He continues with a sigh..I was dumb-stuck.. He continued talking..I dint know what to ask him.. I asked him about how it happened ..She was admitted in a hospital some days before and today (15 December 2008) afternoon,she died.. It was a moment 0f sadness for me.. I would not be able to see her again , and the worst ,i wont be able to attend the funeral due to my examz..

It was just 2 months before ,when I heard she was getting married.. That too was a shock for me, because she was just 21..or 20.. My friend Adhub told me about this.. I could not go for that also.. And last but not the least,When I called my friend Lekshmi to tell about this, She told me that Anusha's elder brother also died due to some disease.

I can remmeber days at school when she used to come to classes.. She was a very good person with a very pretty face and a warm smile to greet everyone in the class.. She was an average student and was fair with everyone she talked..

When I was in the hospital due to a surgery, I came to know from my cousin - Meera- Who was in my same class that Anusha was sick and was admited in a hospital. I dint know what happend at that time.. After my two months rest,When I came to school also, I dint find her there.. But after some days ,she came to clas..From her friends ,I came to know that she was suffering from some skin disease and was in the hospital for long time.. From that time,she was taking leave from school frequently.. I dint know the reason clearly than that she was having some skin disease.. She used to cover her head with a cloth that normal muslims use to cover theirs..So we were unable to know the intensity of her disease..

And after school ,I never heard about her or met her - until recently , when Adhub told about her marriage..And now her death!! It was really shocking for me to know about her death...So death is coming nearer.. I recognise that death will come sooner as we grow older..

Now ,its really time to think of life seriously and work it out and do and achieve somethin and leave something good for the future generation to rememeber me..

Though i couldnt see her or attend her funeral ceremonies, I am giving her a bunch of flowers for ever in rememberance..and will always keep it with this for her..

My first Love

My first love..Is there something like that? Hmm..That is really something to think about.. Though you must say first love will always be remembered , I would tell that I dont even remember my first love.. Haahaa.. Do you know my first love?

Well..I dont remember really..Might be a chocolate,or a lollipop..hehee.. What else did u think of? I loved chocolate from my childhood.. But dint get even a nibble..I got loads of lollipops.. I used u keep it and eat in a variety of ways.. It was funny chewing lollipops..

But i preferred chocolates, I would lick to d last drop of chocolate even now..Huh. Chumma irikkumbo neram pokum..As a fact ,I have heard that If anyone gives you a chocolate ,your love for that person will increase, especially for dark chocolates.. And for me..I love them-Dark chocolates..hehe.. Just too tempting and tasty too..Waaahh..To think of it, my mouth is already filled with water..glum...

My Love for Maths

How I came to love maths is really a big story!! Now I am wondering why I took IT when I really loved maths and would have better been a teacher or a leturer than an IT Student/Professional..


There was once a time during which I hated Maths the most..I used to run away from it.. I was unable even to count numbers ..I always needed paper and pen (its still needed now) without which I never did my sums and products..Now there is a change that I can do it better and faster.. I was not a bright student at School and was too shy till 6th standard.. I loved to walk alone ..I loved company, but din't get any good ones..I was really very bad at studies..


I got very poor marks for unit tests and terminal examz..Only God knows how I passed each class.. And on one of those days of 4th standard, I heard that there is a LSS scholarship exam.. I didnot even know what that means at that time. But I asked my parents about it.. They explained to me ,but the reality was that I dint even understand a word.


When I was promoted to 5th standard, I heard about the USS exam.This was similar to the exam in the LP section, with a difference of syllabus. I wished to attend the exam in the thought that I am the best ,simply.. I knew I am nothing..but still thought it to be the best. I was very eager to tell this to my parents . they granted me the permission at last..


There were classes being held for preparation of the exam in school at various times,in morning ,evenings and saturdays.. I tried my level best to attend those classes.. On one of those days ,I met her.. A precious sweet teacher..Who taught maths very well.. I forgot to mention that I was very afraid of teachers.. I dont kno why and what prevented me from mingling with the teachers..(now also I am afraid of teachers..Now not because I fear them,but because they take away my sessional marks intentionally..So as far as possible I avaoid teachers eyes)...I never knew how to interact and how to clarify my doubts...


One of those days ,I was passing throught the hall in the seventh standard block, I saw her standing in a class room teaching students.. I dont really know what attracted me to her..But there was a magic in her voice that made me listen.. I dont kno for how much time I stood listening.. Suddenly my friend came and called me.."Hey what are you listening to..Come fast,The classes are about to start" .I was very angry with her ,but afraid of the teacher coming the next period and ran to the class..



That evening I went to the USS class without any mind.. Just thought of going to home ,when I heard her voice coming in the direction of the class .." Anu ,come here fast" She was calling my friend..My friend was a very jolly type who mingled with all teachers freely..She was a buji of the class..Well,Atleast after I became her best friend. .(I dont kno what, But all my friends who are with me become class toppers,atleast one of them and they would be my best friends..Only after some time of being my best friend, they become toppers[Applicable to girls only].Havent tried with boys..Sorry) [:D]


Huh!! By the way,I forgot to mention her name..My favourite teacher,her name is JISHA.. She was very young at that time..Very energetic,very tall,very good to students..very helpful...I liked her so much.. Her first class gave me a very good impression..


As she came to the class, my heart started beating very fast.. I know why.. Because it is the first time that I am gonna listen in a maths class.. Through out the class I was very attendive though I dint understand a word (since I knew nothing of the basics of maths ). This became a blessing to me later.. I think GOd forced me to sit in that class..I had never had such a wonderful experience with maths than that..She taught the shapes of objects using original objects and taught equations in a very friendly manner.


After the class I felt happy..It was the first time that I feel happy after a maths class due to good teaching ..Otherwise I was happy of the thuought that the classs got over.. I was looking forward for the next class of hers through out the week..(Only twice in a week we had maths class for scholarship exam)..


I was so happy when the notice came for the next maths class..I rushed to the classroom alloted as soon as the regular classes were over..But when the teacher came,my heart was broken..The old teacher who taught was back.. It was only then that I came to know that my favourite teacher was a substitute. I was very sad of that.. And I never saw her after again soon, except one day when the old teacher became sick..


USS scholarship exam was a complete zero for me....I prepared and tried..But got nothing..Questions were all bad I could ever expect..And the results cam to be worst..



Years passed ,I was in the 9th standard when I saw her again..By that time my maths had became the worst.. I never learned anything useful.. I still remember how Elizabeth teacher threatened me by telling me that she would call my parents when in the eighth standard when I got 2 marks for maths in terminal exam out of 50.. Everyone,even the worst got much better marks than me.. I was broken-hearted..My sister was in 6th standard and she used to study very well and was in the top 10 for a while..Techers knew her very well.. Through her they knew me.. Elizabeth teacher abused me telling me to study from her.. I was very frightened of her..I hated her voice.. I couldnt concentrate .. I never did for people with her voice..And I was very very frightened of her..


My friend Anu by now had became the school topper.(9th standard). She used to tell me about the tution..One day i asked her details, as I got the worst mark for the unit test that term.Then she told me about Jisha teacher.. I was very surprised to hear her name and asked her more details.. And atlast,I found her.. From that moment I was filled with some kind of joy.. I eagerly waited for the evening to come to tell my parents and get permission about this..They never liked tution..But I was the one who always hesitated to go for tutions.. But this time,they were happy for me and phoned to Jisha teacher and asked her permisision..I was very glad tto hear from her a "yes"..


Form the next day onwards I started my Maths tution ..And from that time onwards I am loving it-Maths..And the teacher will always be in my heart- a very special person who taught me..No other teachers have ever taught me better.. She taught me every basic of mtahs from the beginning.. Helped me solve problems, not only from text but also from question papers.. This was the first time that I was solving question papers..I never did that before..I was too lazy to do..


And You kno what, though the 9th standard terminal result came better, the 10th standard marks were mind blowing..I had a very high score on maths..Other subjects were poor for me, but as Maths got better ,those too got better.. I scored the best for maths in SSLC in my career..
I can tell with confidence that only because of her I am today what I am..If it was not for her interest ,her kindness and her approach and style I would never have learned Maths..


And for the plus wo examz too.. I got the best marks for maths -a 97- from 2!!!!huh.... what do you think???


And Now! !In the engineering field ,I am very sad now to know that there are no more maths clsses, Until semester 5... And now again, I am going down in studies, I am always putting my hnds up for someone to come over and help me clmb up...A small push.. A loving care..I dint find this with anyone of the lecturers of My department till now..But instead,they are pushing me down ,to a big hole.. I am still hopeful.. Waiting for someone to come and pick me up.. To fill me with energy I lost once...

success and failure ..An intersting link

http://www.touchninspire.com/download.aspx?cid=131

NSS One Day Camp at Vattiyoorkkavu Polytechnique

Two days before, my friend informed me of a camp being conducted in Central polytechnique College , and told me to report there at 9.30 am. I was told about this by our NSS Program Officer of our college,Mr.Mhd. Shafeeq sir the next day..He told me that 10 volunteers are allowed to go .I was thinking of going. But was afraid whether my fater will allow or not..Anyway,when I reached Home,and asked about this, My father gave me permission to go..


Today morning I woke up at 7.00 am and was thinking dat it was already late..[:D]Hehee,..Ente oro thamashakal..My bestfriend told me last day he'll cm at Perookkada at 9 am and that we can go together.So I got ready fast,taking very little breakfast and went to catch a bus to Palayam.After reaching palayam,I went to catch another bus to Peroorkkada. I got the bus without much dealy. I was in just a hurry berry style at that time.. I had only a mobile,a book,a pen,and some money and water with me. Well,That was just more than enough. I was waiting for my friend in the bus stop. He came and we went to PolyTechniche college.

We reached the college by 9.15 am. The campus was a big one, much bigger than our college.We first went inside the college.I was surprised to see the arrangements they have made... There was a design made with sand/ salt at the entrance and there was a reception arranged..At the reception people were sitting to direct and make registrations..We had to wait for other people in our college to come.. So we went inside the building and found out the auditorium . I was interacting with a girl there..Soon we were friends.. She told us that we should register.. We told we were waiting for our friends..then she told we should go down and register when all reaches there.. We phoned to others to come fast.. Then after some time they came..6 people were there..We went to registration desk and registered..We were given a file with paper,pen, volunteer card,and d notice for the day. Then we went to the hall where meeting is being conducted.. There we took some photos..

It was great to be there.. I went and sat in the girls side ..I was the only one girl from our college..hehe..I made friends with the girls who sat near me..They were Anzy, Arathy,Azeela,Chinnu,Chithra ..All from Central polytechnique Vattiyoorkkavu. I was informed by them dat 40 of them are attending the camp...


Ohh....I almost forgot to tell.....The camp was a district level NSS volunteer camp..It was named "Kaithiri" ..The camp was conducted with the help of ex-NSS members..They had formed a group called YES(Youth Empowerment Society). The NSS and YES together was conducting a camp..all expenses were taken by YES members..The camp is dated to 4th October 2008.

I had a great luck of attending a camp like this..The inaugration ceremony was done and the Camp was opened ..After prayer song and other formal things ,we were given tea and biscut..There was a class nexct..A seminar on "Youth and society" (not the exact topic ;)hehee)... The talk was fully about NSS, its origin etc etc..It was very nice to hear ,because I dint know the basic thing of NSS..

After the class, It was lunch break..I was having a lot of girls as my friends by now and were making many more..we were told to go to another class romm..there we were serverd with a small sadya..with pickle,pappadam, cabbage thoran,avial,sambar and moru curry..The lunch was great..I took some photos there..I made friends with Arya,Deepthi,anjana and one more girl from LBS..They were doing 5th semester in IT..I had a great time with them..I also made friends with many like Raji, Aswathi, Megha, Aparna, Sivapriya, shathikrishna ,and many more..

The next session began ...Well this was the most interseting session..t was about "nadan pattu"..They had named themselves as "Nattu koottam"..It was all about the traditional nadan pattu and songs..They sung many songs and made us too sing and dance along with themm..We continued that session till 4 pm.(...........I thought we will be leaving before 3)...Hmm..Anyway I and my friends enjoyed a lot...Had a great time..

After this, the certificates were distributed to all volunteers who attended the camp..I colected the certificates for our college..Mine was having mistake and I returned it..Velappan sir,The Program officer of central polytechnique told me he'll give it when he come to college next time..

That was the end of a wonderful camp..After tea and biscut, we were dismissed.. Before leaving we,GECB ians took a group photo...Our sir was already gone..So we had our photo without him..

Hmm..Thus there ended a wonderful camp..Hoping to get things like this more...I would next love to go for a hike or trekking..These have been in my mind for a long time..but I am still unable to fulfill themm..bad luck..But I am hoping to do it some day..I would really really love to do so..

University Examz..A headache for students

Once again the university is prooving itself to be itself..Not meant for anyone else to enjoy..especially the students..The University of Kerala, is again making a successful horror for its students .."Exams for Semester 7 on November 24"..Thus the six months semester had been condensed to a mere 2 month semester. It is merely one month,before the exams for semester 6 were over.



It was supposed that odd semesters will be having more time than even semesters because of the events and functions being conducted in the even semesters..But now , there was a month free (dont know for what purpose) during semster 6 and the semester was lagged.and Examz got postponded.Now after the onam hols when the college was reopened for next sem ,it was known about the exam dates..God knows how people are going to get through the examz with 2 months class..God help us!!

Exclusive Me-My Life

Chapter 1:

"Silly!!", This might be the first word that many will tell when they see me.. .Huh! It should be them in my place.. They would never have survived any farther . Never would anyone be better , I think, Unless they were like what they think from their birth. I might be the most tender at heart now..I dont know even myself.. I am keeping on changing every second.. And some of my behaviour depends on my friends.. I have copied a lot from my friends..

Could I have been much better??? I have asked myself this question lakhs of times... and each time, I get the answer as "NO"..Why am I like this? Whay am I doing like this ,that no one will like? A Few have asked me..I have given away an answer so as to console them, to let them go away without any of my experiences or secrets of my life..

But i think the time is up now..I must disclose every secret in my mind..I must let it out..Someone should know me.. If not the stories will be going untold..
I cannot remember much from my past..But whatever I write will be true and is from my small memory..As far as I remember , I have been brought up by my father and mother as usual.. It might not be of any importance to others on this, but it is important to me to tell whatever I remember..

My father and mother were having jobs.When I was a born, they kept an Aaya for me..That is, a servant.I cant remember anything there..But was told about from the photos and by the Servant..Her name was Sathi..We,me and my sister called her 'Sathi Aunty'..

I used to cry a lot, hungry all the time..mother told me when I became bigger,that I was to have a bottle always in my mouth..HeHee.. Otherwise I would cry the place down..My father was taking tution at home at that time, when I was small..The boys who came for tution would come and take me and go, until my father arrives.. They still remember me,even though i dont, except one ..[:D].

When my sister was born,I donno how I was.But One thing was sure..I liked her.. But I dont know why, she used to cry at the sight of me.. I wanted to take her ,care her..But mother told me , she used to cry out loudly in my presence near her..hmm..any way I loved her..And still I love her..

I dont remember a single thing about my behaviour during my babyhood.But I remember going to my father, to disturb him and his the boys there..hehe.had a lot of fun tucking their feets.

I was admitted to a kindergrden..I dont remember its name..There were a lot of children there,crying when admitted to their first classes..I dont know even now why children cry when they go to schools..Hmm.Anyway..I was not having any friends there..I dint know what friends meant and dint know how to interact. I was just a kid there who dint talk much.


I was isolated from other children at home and feared others when they ccame home..When there were visitors, I used to hide myself somewhere at times.. I dint like anyone..I feared all..I dont know much resons behind that..But i think it was my fathers words and deeds that made me worser..He used to tell all day how people like beggars kidnap kids and what they do with them.. He had told it many times to me , that I was very afraid even to get out of home..
I dint have much friends at home or at school.. When I go to my hometown,Kottayam,I had my cousin to play with,She's now also my best friend..

I always fought with my sister for every small thing..Even if it was for the bananas we eat,I used to take the biggest..I really dint know what is what.,..I must admit that I dint know what love is..My mother used to sing songs and tell stories at times in the night..We both slept hearing her telling stories..

I was admitted to LKG in HolyAngelsConvent.There I had many terrible experiences..And the terrible things were begining there..

My College

The disturbing thoughts began to haunt my mind again ,as I celebrated my last onam in my College..I dont know how it feels to others when they think about their last Celebrations..One more year..Three years have passed by ,giving me immeasurable values of life and virtues that can never be seen..As the great day passes by, this is for the remembrance of this day..The Unique Onam Celebration..The Last..

Years have passed by giving new leaves to trees and shedding the old leadves..Each time new friend come,and replaces our values and views of life..But the pain is severe when leaving friends..

But..

As I swim in the pool of thoughts of my past, I suddenly went into my imaginations. I was thinking of my college days,When I thought about leaving the college.
Just one more year and I will be passing out ..Not knowing of what I was thinking I thought about my friends, who is with me,whom I love so much and who cares for me.
Its a nightmare for me now to even think of leaving the college. I Love my college,even though it is so small ,because I have friends in there,Who are some-what like me.
Days and months and years are running like seconds..I can remember the first day to college as if it happened seconds ago..
But the history will continue to repeat its story of years,and years will come and go..But no year comes again..So Enjoy to your maximum..[ And hide your tears and hurts in your heart ]

One of the stories that inspired me

Its not my story..I copied it from someone..because I liked the story

My mother used to ask me: "What is the most important part of the body?"

Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was

younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy."

Mother said, "No Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again

soon."

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had

contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to

everybody, so it must be our eyes." Mother looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the

answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind."

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge. Over the years, Mother asked me a couple

more times and always her answer was, "No, but you are getting smarter every year, my child."

Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I

remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me

when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to Grandpa.

Mother asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?"

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and

me. Mother saw the confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows

that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you

was wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this

important lesson."

Mother looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. Mother said, "My

dear, the most important body part is your shoulder."

I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?"

Mother replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry.

Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough

love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."


Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is sympathetic to the

pain of others. People will forget what you said... People will forget what you did.... But people will

NEVER forget how you made them feel.

True or not, the story makes you stop and think. Be blessed. Be a blessing. Get your shoulder ready..

Is it in the authority of teachers to do everything as they wish?

[This feature is based on some of the teachers who are currently teaching in famous colleges..Only a few are like this.. ]


Is it in the authority of teachers to do all things as they wish? In the class rooms,In the exam halls,Among their group and in other places ????

NO?? YES???WHAT??

The University is paying no attention now a days to what the teachers are doing to students .Nor are they interested to know what is happening to the teacher student relations in colleges.The future of students rather than being secure are being getting worser and worser each year ,not because they are doing it on purpose ,but the teachers are making it worser.
Once upon a time it was believed that teachers were the Source of Knowledge, Wisdom and Intelligence.A teacher was originally a person who behaved in such a way that the students admired them and trained themselves to be like their teacher..

The Indian Culture tells to obey a teacher,To respect them,study from them not only what they teach you,But HOW THEY BEHAVE,HOW THEY LVE,THEIR PRINCIPLES,THEIR LOVE,THEIR LIFE. The main motive of a teacher must not be to make money,but to make their students better men/women for the future,so as to build a good population.

But what we can see now-a-days is just the reverse..The teachers behave as though they dont even know the syllabus.They are the ones now to be taught how to behave to students..There is a famous saying "You reap what you had sow"..Effort must be made from the part of the teachers to save the future from being the worst. SAVE THE PLANET... SAVE INDIA..SAVE KERALA..
And now about the colleges of Kearala..
It had been ages since they hav done their jobs correctly.
Assignments indirectly mean that they are not going to teach those portions .
The late submission of assignemnts means decrese of the full marks for assignments..
The failure or decrease in marks in tests means that decrease of sessional marks

But..
For the teachers..
Assignments means nothing to be taught
They can take leave as long as they want..Doesnt matter how they teach the students,What the students understood and what they want the teacher to do so that they can excel in studies..

And how they can decrease marks in sessionals..They have got their own way..They reduce marks if they see that the students as a whole are not obeying her orders..


I dont want to continue more than this..If anyone likes to add any thing to this can post comments on this..
Would you like to add to this feature any of your thoughts..Send them to me..

Speak Out

It is not a very hard job to speak.But it really needs efort and courage to speak out..I created this blog to speak out.To write anything that comes out.If it does hurt any one in reading,just accept it..
Truth is always bitter..And speaking out the truth in front of a person who said it in the opposite way(i.e. lied the same thing) is much bitter,to accept and to hear.
Jesus says in Bible : "I am the way,the truth and the life!No one reaches the Father, except through me..".The importance of telling the truth is significant . And the book of Genesis, says clearly how Adam and Eve lost heaven..A single lie..That left them with everlasting pain.And they had to live in that pain.
Everywhere we can see how truth wins over the worse.So speak out.Let this be the time to read out what I think is true..